A funny dog wearing sunglasses.

100 Funny Quotes Worth Laughing Over

by Editor

Funny quotes are great for bringing a bit of humor into our lives. They help to lighten the mood, they’re excellent for breaking the ice, and of course, they’re fun to share with friends. After all, as Victor Borge once said, “Laughter is the shortest distance between two people.”

Some of the most entertaining quotes, in our opinion, are those that are not only witty, but also wise — conveying some universal truth. Funny quotes about life, love, and friendship — those that we can relate to — are especially comical. Kurt Vonnegut once quipped, “The best jokes are dangerous, and dangerous because they are in some way truthful.”

In this list of 100 funny quotes worth laughing over, we’ve tried to include a zinger for everyone, whether it’s an insightful quotation, a silly saying, or an ironic wisecrack.

131 responses to “100 Funny Quotes Worth Laughing Over”

  1. Tia Elise Shauna Wray says:

    if you carn’t have midnight snack why do we have a light in the fridge ??

  2. Just a funny Quote says:

    Milk Milk Lemonade around the corner fudge is made!

    • Emails manna says:

      You said it wrong it’s milk milk lemonade chocolate round the corner thicko

      • Stryks says:

        Actually, I think you might be in the wrong there. There is a rhyming device built into this little ditty which is broken with your version.

        “Milk, Milk, Lemonade,
        Round the corner (chocolate’s / fudge is) made.”

        Post above has fudge, we always used chocolate when we were kids. And that is kind of the point. It’s what we used as kids. The fact that you have an alternative neither invalidates this version nor validates your own.

        • RiftEnigma says:

          It’s because these people seem to refuse to use grammar, but, Stryks is correct.
          I always said “chocolate’s” one of my friends used “fudge is”. I do think they are both very popular choices and, like Stryks said, the rhyming device works with both of them. So I suppose that if any word fits in with the rhyming pattern, it can be considered correct.

          “Milk, Milk, Lemonade,
          ‘Round the corner tea is made.”

          Just an example.

          • Melinda Jacqueline says:

            Why is there an in-depth conversation about a little song 5 year olds used to sing? And chocolate? It’s fudge!! There, now I’m in the conversation about a poem about poop and pee. And RiftEnigma, you’re discussing the grammar of this? I think people feel strongly about the subject….I guess we are all kids at heart…..and we like to argue and be right 🙂

          • Melinda Jacqueline says:

            And if it looks like tea you need to drink a whole lot more liquids.

    • Melinda Jacqueline says:

      That’s retired, I’m sorry I know u might’ve been trying to be cute, but really? Let’s put that one in storage.

  3. Emails manna says:

    I don’t get most off them there crap and I am 54

  4. freckledfarang says:

    The quotes are funny, but it’s confusing that you feel they need interpreting. You are reiterating super obvious conclusions.

    • I agree that most of them are quite obvious, but from our experience simply rehashing a quote in a slightly different way can be a big help for non-native English speaking users. And of course, the interpretations also provide guidance for those experiencing the occasional brain fart.

    • Melinda Jacqueline says:

      Mr.freckledfarang, maybe because at heart we all love to argue and be right about everything, or maybe because it’s refreshing to debate a poop/lemonade song when everything else is so serious. I had the 5am news on this morning and by 5:05 I had heard about 3 deaths and an old lady whose house burned down with her in it at night. I see your point, but what you said was pretentious as hell. WOOT!

      • freckledfarang says:

        The average intelligence of all humans is going WAY DOWN if my comment was pretentious.

        I wasn’t speaking against the quotes! They are great! People need cheering up! It’s true.

        I just believe that most people with part of a brain can understand what the quotes mean without the “interpretation.”

        The less you use your brain, the less it will be there for use when you need it.

        Also, I’m a Ms.

      • freckledfarang says:

        Also, there’s really not reason for me to act like such a jerk. Sorry.

  5. Amin Vanda says:

    ”Why do people say ‘no offense’ right before they’re about to offend you?”

    The same reason people go to church and confess their sins to their holy papa! 😉

  6. Nina Harper says:

    People say you should marry someone with a good character, but just remember you can’t kiss character in the morning.

  7. Melinda Jacqueline says:

    What does stinki9ng mean? Learn how to spell before you use the word retarted. Mental retardation is something people are born with. Excuse my ENGLISH, but you’re an ass hole <3

    • Anony Mous says:

      If you’re going to say ” Learn how to spell before you use the word *insert word” you should spell the word right -__- & he might be an asshole (like you’re referring to him as) but you going around replying to everyone’s comments & nit picking at most of them makes you look like an asshole too.

  8. Melinda Jacqueline says:

    I think people say ‘no offense’ right before they offend somebody out of habit. But it’s not like we need a ‘warning’ that you are about to be offensive

    • Amin Vanda (SEO Expert) says:

      Yep, no warning.
      Just say no offence, and you’re clean to offend anybody! lol

    • bob says:

      Shut the heck up and stop replying to people’s posts. Amin Vanda was quoting what he thought was a funny joke on this website. It wasn’t a question to you if you would have seen the quotes he put maybe you would have known.

  9. Great collection, man. Keep it up!

  10. girly says:

    Don’t let anyone tell you the sky is the limit when there are footprints on the moon.

  11. Paige Morgan says:

    the funiest thing on here is how dramastic some of you are haha

  12. gleebenfoojug says:

    ja

  13. Fire says:

    Awesome post! Thanks!!!

  14. Katie says:

    Life is simple, if you don’t put anything into it you wont get anything out of it! ^-^

  15. huhu says:

    hhhahahaha. . .LOL

  16. Lauren Martinaze says:

    I’M SO NOT CLUMSY!!!!! IT’S JUST THAT THE WALLS ARE IN MY WAY! AND THE CHAIRS AND TABLES ARE BULLIES, AND THE FLOOR HATES ME! OK? OR NOT (reply)

  17. hdydf says:

    it’s not funny

  18. anonymous says:

    Hehehe funny as!! 🙂

  19. Jonathan says:

    be real

  20. Jonathan says:

    Crowd goes crazy in Shanghai as Kobe Bryant emerges from tunnel and takes a seat on Lakers bench

  21. Jonathan says:

    “Do not repay anyone evil for evil. Be
    careful to do what is right in the eyes of
    everyone

  22. Jake Martinez says:

    Whoever snuck the s in “fast food” is a clever person.

  23. My Grandma says:

    “Those whom fart in church, must sit in their own pew…”
    -Joyce Ross

  24. frank says:

    these r lame

  25. frank says:

    rgnrgjnrejlg

  26. frank says:

    how is that that

  27. imthedoctor says:

    “doctor(talking to his patiant at a checkup): i have bad news and worse news.
    patiant:uh oh! whats the bad news?
    doctor:you have cancer.
    patiant:oh, gosh, whats the worse news?
    doctor: you have alzhiemers.
    patiant:oh, jeez! well at least i dont have cancer!”

    -anonomous

  28. Peydon Smith says:

    Bla bla!!!!!

  29. Peydon Smith says:

    Yea I have!!!!

  30. Peydon Smith says:

    I like fudge not a big fan of it but it’s ok I’m not a big fan of chocolate!!!!!

  31. Peydon Smith says:

    When life hands u lemons…. u throw them at someone

  32. Peydon Smith says:

    I’m gonna parilize u with arrows

  33. Peydon Smith says:

    Yo yo yo

  34. Peydon Smith says:

    Yo yo yo it’s ur boy peydon I’m in the house in the house!!!

  35. summer emery says:

    These quotes are not funny in enny way

    Love
    His john’s doter

  36. That's so frickin awesome name says:

    !m “We have lives to live” -Megatrinton,2013

  37. Tatianna says:

    look here peydon smith blah blah is not a quote

  38. Myself says:

    87-90?

  39. Lynda Crocker says:

    The difference between a man and a squirrel : a squirrel cracks his nuts on a rock and a man rocks his nuts on a crack.

  40. Corey Bryant says:

    I have to agree. School systems are failing our kids, parents are failing at taking up the slack, and human intelligence is indeed on the decline. Google is not helping either.

  41. Hannah says:

    Some people bring happiness butyou give it when you leave

  42. QuodPossum says:

    You must all be so much fun at parties.

  43. CJB124 says:

    I disagree. The interpretations are lame and distracting. If you are aiming for non-native speakers, they probably will have issues getting the original joke, and the interpretation isn’t going to make it any more funny, in fact, likely less funny.

    • Thanks for the feedback. We’ve actually been planning to remove these for a few weeks now, after receiving a lot of complaints. Future lists will include information about the source of the quote instead, and the additional information will be presented in a less intrusive way so that the quote itself is more prominent. Just waiting for our design team to finish with the refreshed layout.

  44. RiftEnigma says:

    It was an example.

  45. Niklaus Heiler says:

    As a non native english speaker (C2 and studying), I can understand most of the quotes and get most of the meanings out of them. Interpretations are highly appreciated though. First, because some quotes are based on interpretations themselves, which may be history and therefore useless for the natives, but not for foreigners; second, because the sense of humour varies and I like to understand how comes that sometimes quotes with no effect on me make you instead laughing loud. It’s a lesson of culture, I take with pleasure. Thank you!!

    • Lizzy Nkeangnyi says:

      All you need do is state what jokes you want to be explained Nik. Though as you know, explanations are relative. Will try to give you an idea though

  46. Janet says:

    The interpretations assist those who take a while to get it. The slow thinkers.

  47. Ginger says:

    Can atheists get insurance for “acts of God?”

  48. Ginger says:

    Regarding No. 76, should it not read “two things in common?”

  49. austin mahone says:

    not funny exept the quote who said im gonna have a desease named after me.

  50. Baruch Ronald says:

    You should wake up earlier than your brain so that by the time your brain wakes up, you will be a sleep

  51. Baruch Ronald says:

    If you try to interpret a stupid statement, what are you trying help….to make it right or more stupid……

  52. mallyscouse says:

    I reckon that anything makes you smile can’t be a bad thing,

  53. mary says:

    I hate how chocolate melts in my hand i mean am i that hot?

  54. Rex J Ablett says:

    This was Karl Pilkington’s suggestion for weight loss recently. 🙂

  55. Myra Gail Carter says:

    I know that’s right

  56. ting jayden says:

    I am not afraid to die,but i am scared of growing old.

  57. Sebastien says:

    Hey, are you alive? If so, I could use some cash, if not, can I take some from your wallet? I’ll pay you back.

  58. maggie says:

    i know right

  59. Spoken darkness says:

    Stalking is a turm used when you post something on the internet and a second later you already have 6 comments

  60. Alee Omair says:

    yah its hillirious .lolx

  61. 20peterien says:

    When you get a box full of used kitty litter, pour it in a bowl with milk and dump it on your homework and give it to your teacher and say “My cat tried to burry my homework.” works for me every single day!! #Swagerjagger#

  62. 20peterien says:

    It actualy works ppl!!!!

  63. Andrew Arrington says:

    “When life’s hard, shouldn’t you be too”-Markiplier

  64. Chad says:

    “Patiant!”

  65. KOMMANDA says:

    Is better not been able to kiss good character than staying at they bar all night long.

  66. Lucio Samora says:

    If you gave a liberal directions that included a right turn they would get so lost.

  67. jackmazzella says:

    “Human genius has its limits, but stupidity does not.” Some say Einstien but some question that claim.

  68. Hamed Hosseinian says:

    hey show an ugly dog i hate it very sikt and jive

  69. jenna says:

    um ok that must suck

  70. xavirr fernandez says:

    good one nina brb going fo brush my teeth lol

  71. Bonnaparte says:

    “The only mystery in life is why the kamikaze pilots wore helmets.”

    Answer: To not die before hit the target…

  72. Sunil says:

    Every road less traveled is less traveled for a reason.

  73. Charlotte Marks says:

    Take the lightbulb out and then try to find everything in the daytime or nightime. Much easier with the fridge light.

  74. Charlotte Marks says:

    Would be funny if those two conditions didn’t torture my grandmother until she died.

  75. gorilla says:

    If at first you don’t succeed, keep on sucking till you do suck seed!

  76. Xxcaden9999xX says:

    Three things happened today 1. I woke up. 2. I saw a pretty girl. 3. I kissed her but… they happened in order 2,3,1 -Me

  77. Seema says:

    can anyone explain me dis plz, I dnt get it
    actually I dnt get that thing,that u cant kiss charactr in the morning

  78. Wade Wilson says:

    Doctor: I have good news and bad news about your medical condition.
    Patient: Tell me the good news first.
    Doctor: There is a new disease that we will name after you.

  79. Courtney Schumacher says:

    Phyllis Diller’s quote #70 quite matches Ronald Regan’s quote at #48, but she probably said it first.

  80. Jared Shrewsbury says:

    Just want to note that the quote about arguing with an idiot (17, I think?) is from Mark Twain, not Greg King…

  81. DANIEL K says:

    I don’t care about sleep anymore. I will have plenty of sleep when I die. Resting in peace indeed!

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