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My landlord comes by. Tries to be nice. He tells me, “Bernard, I like you, but the rent’s way overdue, and I’ve got people lining up around the block for this apartment.” “Lining up around the block?” I ask that sumbitch. “Who wants to live in this crack house?” And he says, “You livin’ here, ain’t you?”


Attributed in Judy Brown, The Comedy Thesaurus: 3,241 Quips, Quotes, and Smartass Remarks (2005)


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