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Photograph of Steven Wright

I was in Little League. I was on first base: I stole third. I ran straight across the diamond. Earlier in the week, I learned the shortest distance between two points is a straight line. I argued with the ump that second base was out of my way.

Source:

Attributed in Judy Brown, The Comedy Thesaurus: 3,241 Quips, Quotes, and Smartass Remarks (2005)

Attributed in Judy Brown, The Comedy Thesaurus: 3,241 Quips, Quotes, and Smartass Remarks (2005)

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