Although Freud said happiness is composed of love and work, reality often forces us to choose love or work.

Pogrebin juxtaposes an oft-cited Freudian ideal—happiness as the integration of “love and work”—with the lived constraints of modern life. The line points to structural pressures (economic necessity, gendered expectations, time scarcity) that make the two pillars compete rather than harmonize. It also implicitly critiques cultural narratives that treat “having it all” as a matter of personal willpower: if reality “forces” a choice, the problem is not merely individual failure but social organization. The quote resonates especially with debates about work–life balance, caregiving, and the unequal distribution of domestic labor.