Assumptions are the termites of relationships.

Winkler’s metaphor likens untested assumptions to termites: small, often unseen agents that quietly weaken a structure from within. In relationships, assumptions—about motives, feelings, priorities, or “what the other person should know”—can replace direct communication and curiosity. Because they feel like knowledge, they harden into judgments, invite resentment, and make repair harder: partners respond to an imagined story rather than the person in front of them. The line’s force is its warning about invisibility and accumulation: the damage is rarely dramatic at first, but over time it can hollow out trust and intimacy unless checked by questions, clarification, and empathy.