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For about a month after my baby was born I bragged to everyone that I had the perfect baby because he never cried. Then I realized those baby monitors have volume control.

Source:

Attributed in Judy Brown, The Comedy Thesaurus: 3,241 Quips, Quotes, and Smartass Remarks (2005)

Attributed in Judy Brown, The Comedy Thesaurus: 3,241 Quips, Quotes, and Smartass Remarks (2005)

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