Beyond the profound federal perks, married people make more money; we're healthier, physically and emotionally; we produce happier, more stable and more successful kids; we have more sex than our supposedly swinging single friends; we even live longer.

McCarthy’s line is a brisk, data-flavored defense of marriage that flips a common cultural script: the “swinging single” is presumed freer and more sexually active, while marriage is framed as dull or restrictive. By stacking claims—financial, health, child outcomes, sex, longevity—she mimics the cadence of a persuasive brief, suggesting that marriage’s benefits are cumulative and measurable, not merely sentimental. The phrase “profound federal perks” nods to institutional incentives (tax and legal advantages), while the rest invokes social-science talking points about stability and well-being. The overall effect is to argue that marriage is not a sacrifice of happiness but, statistically speaking, a route to it.