A diplomat is someone who can tell you to go to hell in such a way that you will look forward to the trip.

Caskie Stinnett was a Washington-based journalist and editor known for his wry observations about politics and public life. This quip circulates as one of his definitions of diplomacy, reflecting mid‑20th‑century American cynicism about the gap between polite official language and the hard realities it can conceal. The line is typically presented as an aphorism rather than tied to a single recorded speech or diplomatic incident, and it has been widely repeated in quotation collections and political commentary as a humorous shorthand for the social skill expected of professional diplomats.

The line defines diplomacy as the art of delivering an unwelcome message so gracefully that the recipient feels respected—or even persuaded—despite the insult or refusal. Its humor depends on the extreme contrast between “go to hell” and “look forward to the trip,” highlighting how tone, framing, and social skill can transform the emotional impact of words. Beneath the joke is a sharper observation about power and persuasion: diplomatic language can soften coercion, mask hostility, or make compliance seem voluntary. The quote is often invoked both admiringly (as praise of tact) and critically (as a warning about manipulation).