If you drink, don't drive. Don't even putt.

Framed as a punchline, the line riffs on the familiar safety admonition “If you drink, don’t drive” by extending it to the seemingly harmless act of putting in golf. The humor depends on incongruity: golf is associated with leisure and low stakes, yet the speaker treats even a short putt as too risky when impaired. In effect, it satirizes both the speaker’s own hard-drinking persona and the culture of casual drinking around recreation, while still reinforcing a serious norm—alcohol diminishes judgment and coordination. The joke’s sting is that impairment isn’t confined to highways; it can spoil performance and invite bad decisions anywhere.