If God wanted us to bend over, he would have put diamonds on the floor.

A bawdy, observational one-liner framed as a mock-theological justification for not doing something unpleasant or demeaning. It fits the style of stand-up comedy that uses religious language for irreverent humor.

The joke suggests that if a higher power truly intended people to submit to an uncomfortable or humiliating situation, there would be an obvious reward to make it worthwhile. It’s a comedic way of rejecting coercion or indignity by pointing out the lack of incentive.