Hospitality is making your guests feel at home, even if you wish they were.
About This Quote
This wry aphorism circulates widely in modern English as an “anonymous” saying, especially in etiquette writing, humor columns, and hospitality-themed compilations. It reflects a long tradition of joking about the social obligations of hosting—where politeness and generosity are expected regardless of the host’s private feelings. The line is typically used in domestic or social contexts (dinner parties, houseguests, holiday visits) to acknowledge the tension between sincere welcome and the performative aspects of good manners. Because it is commonly repeated without attribution and appears in many quotation collections, it is best treated as a piece of contemporary folk wisdom rather than a traceable literary utterance.
Interpretation
The quote defines hospitality not as affection but as conduct: the host’s duty is to create comfort and belonging for guests, even when the host would prefer solitude or an earlier departure. Its humor comes from the candid admission of an uncharitable impulse—“even if you wish they were”—paired with the moral standard of graciousness. Implicitly, it distinguishes between inner sentiment and outward civility, suggesting that true hospitality is measured by the guest’s experience rather than the host’s mood. The line also gently critiques social conventions by implying that hosting can be burdensome, yet it ultimately affirms restraint, tact, and generosity as virtues.
Variations
1) "Hospitality is making your guests feel at home, even though you wish they were." 2) "Hospitality is making your guests feel at home, even if you wish you were." 3) "Hospitality: making your guests feel at home when you wish they were."
