It is inaccurate to say I hate everything. I am strongly in favor of common sense, common honesty, and common decency. This makes me forever ineligible for any public office.

Mencken’s joke works by reversing expectations. He denies being a universal misanthrope, then lists modest civic virtues—“common sense,” “common honesty,” “common decency”—as his real commitments. The final sentence converts that affirmation into an indictment of political culture: if those virtues disqualify a person from office, then the system must be structured to favor cant, corruption, and indecency. The humor is bitter rather than playful; it frames politics as an arena where moral seriousness is not merely unrewarded but actively incompatible with success. The quote also reflects Mencken’s broader anti-idealism about democratic rhetoric and the gap between public virtue-signaling and private incentives.