To love, cherish, and to obey.

The phrase is best known from traditional Christian marriage vows in the English-speaking world, especially as standardized in the Church of England’s Book of Common Prayer. In that liturgical setting, it appears in the bride’s vow, where she promises to “love, cherish, and obey” her husband. The wording reflects early modern English legal and social assumptions about marital hierarchy and wifely duty, and it became culturally familiar through repeated use in church weddings and later through popular literature and film. In many modern denominations and civil ceremonies, “obey” is often omitted or replaced, but the triad remains a recognizable shorthand for the older form of the vow.

As a compact formula, the line pairs emotional commitment (“love”) with ongoing care (“cherish”) and then adds a third term (“obey”) that frames marriage in terms of authority and submission. Read historically, it encodes a model of marriage as both affectional and hierarchical: devotion is expressed not only through feeling and tenderness but through compliance with a spouse’s leadership. In contemporary reception, the phrase often functions as a cultural marker of “traditional” marriage and can be invoked either nostalgically (as stability and duty) or critically (as patriarchal constraint). Its endurance shows how ritual language can outlive the social order that originally shaped it.

“to love, cherish, and obey”
“to love and to cherish”
“to love, honor, and obey”