The mark of a good marriage is partnership and continuing to feel inspired by your spouse. I had that with Tao. But the end is not necessarily the tragedy. Staying in a relationship that is no longer working is the tragedy. Living unhappily - that’s the tragedy.

Wilde frames a “good marriage” not as permanence but as an active, reciprocal partnership that continues to generate admiration and creative or personal inspiration. By contrasting “the end” with “tragedy,” she challenges the cultural assumption that divorce or separation is inherently a failure. Instead, she relocates tragedy in the prolonged erosion of well-being—remaining in a relationship that no longer functions and normalizing unhappiness. The quote thus argues for a values-based metric of success in intimate life: mutual growth, respect, and vitality. It also implicitly defends the moral legitimacy of leaving, presenting departure as a potentially honest, life-preserving choice rather than a shameful collapse.