There is an old saying that money can’t buy happiness. If it could, I would buy myself four hits every game.

Rose riffs on the cliché that wealth cannot purchase happiness by translating “happiness” into the concrete currency of a hitter’s life: base hits. The joke depends on his persona as an obsessive competitor who measured satisfaction in daily performance rather than comfort or status. By imagining buying “four hits every game,” he highlights both the near-impossibility of sustained perfection in baseball and the temptation to treat success as something that could be guaranteed if only one had the means. The line also underscores a broader theme in sports culture: fulfillment is often equated with measurable achievement, even when such achievement is inherently uncertain.