Someone should tell scientists they don't need to keep finding reasons for us to drink a glass of wine at night.

The line satirizes the steady stream of health headlines that alternately praise and condemn alcohol—especially the familiar claim that a nightly glass of wine is “good for you.” By saying scientists “don’t need to keep finding reasons,” Wolf implies that many people already want the comfort of a small nightly indulgence and will eagerly accept any scientific-sounding justification. The humor comes from flipping the usual authority relationship: instead of science guiding behavior, the audience’s desire for permission drives which findings get amplified. It’s also a jab at wellness culture and media simplification, where nuanced research becomes a convenient excuse rather than a careful guide.