Stubbornness does have its helpful features. You always know what you are going to be thinking tomorrow.

Beaman’s quip treats stubbornness as a kind of mental inertia: once a person has fixed an opinion, tomorrow’s thoughts are already predetermined. The “helpful features” are ironic—predictability and consistency can feel comforting, but the joke exposes the cost: rigidity, resistance to new evidence, and a narrowed capacity for growth. By framing stubbornness as a guarantee about the future, the line also hints at how identity can become entangled with beliefs; changing one’s mind can feel like changing oneself. The humor works by praising a vice in the language of practicality, inviting readers to recognize the trap of being reliably wrong—or at least reliably unchanged.