My therapist told me the way to achieve true inner peace is to finish what I start. So far I've finished two bags of M&Ms and a chocolate cake. I feel better already.

The joke hinges on a deliberate misapplication of self-help language. “Finish what I start” is offered as a serious therapeutic maxim about follow-through and closure, but the speaker applies it to compulsive snacking—completing junk food rather than meaningful tasks. The humor comes from the contrast between the lofty promise of “true inner peace” and the mundane, self-indulgent “achievement” of finishing candy and cake. It also satirizes the way people can use psychological advice as a rationalization for immediate gratification, turning moral or therapeutic discipline into an excuse for excess. Beneath the punchline is a familiar Dave Barry theme: self-deprecating candor about appetites and procrastination.