Unhappiness is not knowing what we want and killing ourselves to get it.

The line defines unhappiness as a double failure: first, a lack of self-knowledge (“not knowing what we want”), and second, misdirected exertion (“killing ourselves to get it”). Herold’s irony is that the harder we strive, the more tragic the outcome if the aim is unclear or borrowed from others. The quote critiques compulsive achievement and suggests that clarity of desire—values, priorities, and genuine needs—matters more than sheer effort. It also implies that modern misery can be self-inflicted through overwork in pursuit of ill-defined status, possessions, or approval, turning life into strenuous motion without meaningful direction.