Of all actions of a man’s life, his marriage does least concern other people, yet of all actions of our life tis most meddled with by other people.
About This Quote
John Selden (1584–1654), an English jurist, antiquary, and Member of Parliament, became famous not only for his legal and historical scholarship but also for his sharp table-talk—brief, epigrammatic observations recorded by others. This remark reflects early modern English social realities: marriage was legally and economically consequential (property, inheritance, alliances) and therefore subject to family pressure, community scrutiny, and moral commentary. Selden’s phrasing suggests a private decision paradoxically treated as public business, a tension heightened in a culture where reputation and kinship networks could be as decisive as personal affection.
Interpretation
Selden points to a social paradox: marriage is, in principle, among the most personal choices—affecting chiefly the spouses—yet it attracts disproportionate interference. The line critiques the presumption of outsiders (family, neighbors, clergy, and society at large) to advise, judge, or control a union. Implicitly, Selden separates legitimate public concern from mere curiosity and moralizing, suggesting that the intensity of “meddling” reveals social anxiety about sexuality, lineage, and status. The aphorism remains resonant because it captures how intimate relationships often become arenas for communal expectations and unsolicited governance.




