I always tell my kids that as soon as you have a secret, something about you that you are ashamed to have others find out, you have given other people the power to hurt you by exposing you.

Waldman frames secrecy—specifically, shame-laden secrecy—as a kind of vulnerability that can be exploited. The moment a person has something they fear being revealed, they become susceptible to coercion, humiliation, or manipulation by anyone who can threaten exposure. The advice to her children implies a practical ethic: reduce the leverage others can hold over you by refusing to internalize shame, by being honest with trusted people, or by living in a way that doesn’t require concealment. The quote also points to a broader social critique: stigma and judgment are what make “secrets” dangerous, because they turn private facts into weapons.