Anybody can have a birthday. It requires nothing. Murderers have birthdays. It’s the opposite of anything that I believe in. And I don’t like at work where you stop everything to sing ’Happy Birthday’ to someone. I feel like that’s for children.

With mirth and laughter let old wrinkles come.

In childhood, we yearn to be grown-ups. In old age, we yearn to be kids. It just seems that all would be wonderful if we didn't have to celebrate our birthdays in chronological order.

I remember when the candle shop burned down. Everyone stood around singing ’Happy Birthday.’

For my birthday I got a humidifier and a de-humidifier... I put them in the same room and let them fight it out.