I celebrated Thanksgiving in an old-fashioned way. I invited everyone in my neighborhood to my house, we had an enormous feast, and then I killed them and took their land.

Using deadpan, hyperbolic satire, Stewart reframes “old-fashioned Thanksgiving” as a blunt allegory for European settler colonialism: inviting neighbors to a feast, then murdering them and seizing their land. The joke depends on the collision between the holiday’s sentimental civic mythology (gratitude, harmony, shared meal) and the historical reality of dispossession and violence against Indigenous peoples. By compressing that history into a single grotesque punchline, the line critiques how national traditions can sanitize or omit foundational injustices, and it prods audiences to question celebratory narratives that are built on selective memory.