Our children await Christmas presents like politicians getting in election returns: there's the Uncle Fred precinct and the Aunt Ruth district still to come in.

The line humorously compares children’s suspense over Christmas gifts to the incremental suspense of election-night vote tallies. By mapping relatives to “precincts” and “districts,” the speaker captures how anticipation arrives in batches—each new gift (or family visit) feels like another set of returns coming in, shifting the emotional “count” toward satisfaction. The joke also gently satirizes adult political obsession by suggesting that kids experience a parallel, equally intense fixation—just with warmer stakes. The specificity of “Uncle Fred” and “Aunt Ruth” gives the quip a domestic, anecdotal realism, implying a family ritual of staggered giving that prolongs excitement.