I am constantly torn between killing myself and killing everyone around me.

Taken at face value, the line dramatizes an extreme oscillation between self-directed despair and outward-directed rage. Its blunt symmetry (“killing myself” / “killing everyone around me”) conveys a mind trapped in binary, catastrophic thinking—where pain seeks an outlet but cannot find a constructive form. In literary terms, it can function as darkly comic hyperbole or as a stark depiction of intrusive thoughts, using shock to communicate the intensity of alienation and frustration. Read more cautiously, it also highlights how untreated distress can distort perception of others into obstacles or enemies, underscoring the need for connection, language, and care rather than violence.