We criticize mothers for closeness. We criticize fathers for distance. How many of us have expected less from our fathers and appreciated what they gave us more? How many of us always let them off the hook?

Goodman points to a gendered double standard in how parenting is judged: mothers are often faulted for being too involved (“closeness”), while fathers are faulted for being emotionally or physically removed (“distance”). The rhetorical questions shift the focus from blaming individual parents to examining social expectations—especially the tendency to demand less of fathers and then treat their limited contributions as exceptional. The phrase “let them off the hook” suggests a cultural habit of excusing paternal absence or emotional reticence, which can perpetuate unequal caregiving norms. The quote invites readers to reassess both criticism and gratitude: not to deny fathers’ efforts, but to question why the bar is set differently in the first place.