A diplomat is a person who can tell you to go to hell in such a way that you actually look forward to the trip.

Caskie Stinnett, a Washington-based journalist and humorist, is commonly credited with this wry definition of diplomacy from the mid-20th-century U.S. political-media milieu, where “diplomat” had become a stock figure for polished, indirect speech. The line circulated widely as an aphorism in newspapers, quotation columns, and later joke/quotation anthologies, often detached from any single article or speech. Its popularity reflects a period when public fascination with foreign policy and official Washington manners made “diplomatic language” synonymous with tactful euphemism—saying something harsh while preserving cordiality and saving face.

The joke hinges on the contrast between harsh content (“go to hell”) and agreeable delivery (“look forward to the trip”). Stinnett suggests that diplomacy is less about changing realities than about managing perceptions—using courtesy, euphemism, and charm to make unwelcome outcomes feel acceptable, even attractive. The line also implies a moral ambiguity: a diplomat’s skill can be admirable (tact, restraint, social intelligence) while also manipulative (packaging coercion or refusal as invitation). As a definition, it flatters rhetorical finesse while satirizing how power often operates through polished language rather than blunt force.

A diplomat is a man who can tell you to go to hell in such a way that you look forward to the trip.
A diplomat is someone who can tell you to go to hell and make you look forward to the journey.
A diplomat is a person who can tell you to go to hell and make you glad to be on your way.