I don’t exercise. If God had wanted me to bend over, he would have put diamonds on the floor.

In this one-liner, Rivers uses her trademark self-deprecating, materialist humor to mock the cultural pressure to exercise—especially the expectation that women should constantly work on their bodies. The joke hinges on a faux-theological premise: if bending over were truly “intended,” it would be rewarded with something glamorous (diamonds). By substituting luxury for health as the motivating “reason” to move, she satirizes both consumer culture and vanity, while also acknowledging—through exaggeration—how unappealing exercise can feel. The line’s punch comes from its blunt refusal of virtue-signaling and its comic honesty about incentives.