Because God is never cruel, there is a reason for all things. We must know the pain of loss; because if we never knew it, we would have no compassion for others, and we would become monsters of self-regard, creatures of unalloyed self-interest. The terrible pain of loss teaches humility to our prideful kind, has the power to soften uncaring hearts, to make a better person of a good one.

Koontz frames grief as a morally formative experience within a providential worldview: if God is not cruel, then suffering—especially bereavement—must have intelligible purpose. The passage argues that loss is the primary school of compassion, because it breaks the illusion of self-sufficiency and forces recognition of shared vulnerability. Without that education, people risk devolving into “monsters of self-regard,” insulated by comfort and driven by pure self-interest. Pain, then, is not romanticized but treated as a severe corrective that can humble pride, soften emotional hardness, and deepen empathy. The claim ultimately links personal tragedy to ethical growth, suggesting that character is refined not only by joy or virtue but by endured sorrow.