I got laid at IKEA this morning. Assembling the woman took a while though.

This is a one-liner built on a double meaning: “got laid” (had sex) is humorously reinterpreted as acquiring something from IKEA, a retailer associated with flat-pack furniture. The second sentence extends the pun by treating the sexual partner as an IKEA product that must be “assembled,” invoking the familiar frustration of IKEA instructions and parts. The joke relies on incongruity (people aren’t assembled) and on the cultural ubiquity of IKEA as shorthand for DIY assembly. It also fits a stand-up/one-liner persona that uses deadpan, absurd literalism, and a quick twist from a boast into a mundane complaint.