Grudges are for those who insist that they are owed something; forgiveness, however, is for those who are substantial enough to move on.

The aphorism contrasts two postures toward injury: the grudge, framed as a demand for repayment, and forgiveness, framed as self-possession. By describing grudge-holding as an insistence on being “owed something,” it links resentment to a continuing transaction with the offender—an emotional debt that keeps the injured party tethered to the past. Forgiveness, by contrast, is presented less as excusing wrongdoing than as an act of personal magnitude: the capacity to refuse ongoing captivity to the harm. The emphasis on being “substantial enough” suggests maturity, inner security, and autonomy—moving on as a choice that restores agency rather than a concession to the other person.