Hey yogurt, if you're so cultured, how come I never see you at the opera?

This is a pun-driven joke that plays on the double meaning of “cultured.” Yogurt is “cultured” in the literal, microbiological sense (made with bacterial cultures), while “cultured” in social terms implies refined tastes—here, stereotypically represented by attending the opera. By addressing yogurt as if it were a person and challenging it to prove its “culture,” the line satirizes status-signaling notions of sophistication and exposes how easily “culture” becomes a shallow label. The humor comes from the absurd mismatch between food science and highbrow social performance, a style consistent with Colbert’s comedic persona.