Labor Day is a glorious holiday because your child will be going back to school the next day.  It would have been called Independence Day, but that name was already taken.

There are only two lasting bequests that we can hope to give our children — roots and wings.

It's ten p.m. Do you know where your children are?

The sole purpose of a child's middle name, is so he can tell when he's really in trouble.

Children seldom misquote you. In fact, they usually repeat word for word what you shouldn’t have said.