Here lies our sovereign lord the King,
Whose promise none relies on;
He never said a foolish thing,
Nor ever did a wise one.

These lines are a Restoration-era satirical epitaph attributed to John Wilmot, 2nd Earl of Rochester (1647–1680), the notorious court wit and libertine associated with the circle around King Charles II. The couplets target Charles II’s reputation for charm, indolence, and political evasiveness: he was famed for saying agreeable things without committing himself, and for avoiding decisive “wise” action. The verse circulated in manuscript and oral court culture, where Rochester’s lampoons and epigrams were often anonymously copied and passed around, sometimes with shifting attributions. As an “epitaph,” it adopts the conventional tomb-inscription form to deliver a barbed judgment on royal character rather than a literal memorial.

The wit hinges on a paradox: the king “never said a foolish thing” (he is verbally smooth, never openly stupid), yet “nor ever did a wise one” (his actions lack prudence or statesmanship). The second line—“Whose promise none relies on”—adds a moral indictment: his words are not dependable commitments. Together, the poem contrasts rhetorical skill with ethical and political substance, implying that a ruler can maintain an image of intelligence while governing without wisdom. The epitaph form intensifies the verdict, as if history’s final assessment of the monarch is not his achievements but his evasiveness and unseriousness.

1) “Here lies our sovereign lord the King, / Whose word no man relies on; / He never said a foolish thing, / Nor ever did a wise one.”
2) “Here lies our sovereign lord the King, / Whose promise none relies on; / He never said a foolish thing, / And never did a wise one.”