Marry your son when you will; your daughter when you can.

This proverb is attributed to the Welsh-born English poet and Anglican priest George Herbert (1593–1633) and belongs to the tradition of early modern English “sentences” or household maxims about family governance. Herbert is especially associated with moral and practical aphorisms circulated in manuscript and later printed as collections of proverbs. The saying reflects the social realities of seventeenth-century marriage: sons were often expected to establish themselves (education, trade, land, or office) before marrying, while daughters’ marriages were constrained by dowry, reputation, and the availability of an acceptable match, making timing less controllable for parents.

The maxim contrasts perceived parental agency over sons’ and daughters’ marriages. “When you will” implies a son’s marriage can be delayed until he is ready or strategically advantageous, because his prospects are imagined as expandable through work and time. “When you can” suggests a daughter’s marriage depends more on external circumstances—suitors, alliances, and the family’s ability to provide a portion—so opportunities must be seized when they arise. Read today, it also exposes gendered assumptions about autonomy and economic power: the proverb treats marriage as a family-managed transaction and highlights how women’s life chances were often more contingent and time-sensitive in patriarchal societies.