We planned this beautiful, totally natural, unmedicated delivery. What kind of stupid-ass idea is that? Next time I want the epidural at the moment of conception. Numb for nine months.

The speaker uses blunt, self-mocking humor to puncture the ideal of a “beautiful, totally natural, unmedicated” birth plan. The rhetorical question (“What kind of stupid-ass idea is that?”) signals a reversal from aspirational planning to the lived reality of pain and unpredictability in childbirth. The hyperbole—wanting an epidural “at the moment of conception” and to be “numb for nine months”—turns a specific medical intervention into a comic metaphor for wanting insulation from the entire physical and emotional ordeal. Beneath the joke is a critique of cultural pressure to romanticize “natural” suffering and a defense of pragmatic, pain-relieving choices without shame.