They say such nice things about people at their funerals that it makes me sad to realize that I'm going to miss mine by just a few days.

Keillor’s line is a dry, self-deprecating joke that turns on a common social ritual: we often reserve our warmest praise for the dead, when it can no longer benefit them. By pretending to be “sad” he’ll miss his own funeral by a few days, the speaker highlights the absurd timing of posthumous admiration and the way eulogies can become idealized, selective narratives. The humor carries a moral nudge: say the generous, truthful things now, while people can hear them, rather than waiting until grief and convention prompt exaggerated compliments. It also gently mocks vanity—the desire to be celebrated—while admitting it as a recognizably human impulse.