There's a lot to do when you have a baby. The first thing, which is taking me a really long time: I have to figure out who the father is.

The line is structured as a comic reversal: it begins with a familiar, socially approved sentiment about the work of caring for a newborn, then pivots to an unexpected confession that undermines conventional assumptions about parenthood and responsibility. The humor depends on deadpan escalation—treating the potentially scandalous question of paternity as merely the “first thing” on a to‑do list. Beneath the joke is a satirical jab at narratives that idealize motherhood while ignoring messy realities of relationships, sexual autonomy, and social judgment. It also plays with the gap between public performance (competent parent) and private uncertainty (basic facts unresolved).