The two oldest professions in the world—ruined by amateurs.

Woollcott’s epigram riffs on the old saying about “the world’s oldest profession” (prostitution) by adding a second “oldest” profession—commonly understood as politics or journalism—and then delivering the punchline: both have been “ruined by amateurs.” The joke depends on a cynical view that these trades attract untrained dabblers whose incompetence or moral laxity degrades standards. It also satirizes modernity’s democratization of public life: when anyone can claim expertise (in governing, reporting, or selling sex), the result is not liberation but a perceived collapse of craft, discretion, and professionalism.