It is a well-documented fact that guys will not ask for directions. This is a biological thing. This is why it takes several million sperm cells... to locate a female egg, despite the fact that the egg is, relative to them, the size of Wisconsin.

George Washington is the only president who never blamed the previous administration for his troubles.

Why do they lock gas station bathrooms? Are they afraid someone will clean them?

The last time I was inside a woman was when I went to the Statue of Liberty.

The only way to keep your health is to eat what you don’t want, drink what you don’t like, and do what you’d rather not.