I went to a bookstore and asked the saleswoman, "Where's the self-help section?" She said if she told me, it would defeat the purpose.

The joke turns on a paradox built into the idea of “self-help.” If a clerk must guide you to the self-help section, you are, in a small way, not helping yourself. Carlin uses this setup to satirize the booming self-improvement industry and its promise of personal transformation through packaged advice. The punchline also pokes at consumer culture: even self-reliance becomes something you purchase, mediated by retail systems and experts. Beneath the humor is a skeptical view of quick-fix solutions and a preference for plain, unsentimental thinking—hallmarks of Carlin’s comedy.

1) “I was in a bookstore and I asked the clerk, ‘Where’s the self-help section?’ She said, ‘If I told you, it would defeat the purpose.’
2) “I went into a bookstore and asked, ‘Where’s the self-help section?’ The guy said, ‘If I tell you, it defeats the purpose.’
3) “I asked the bookstore clerk where the self-help books were. She said if she told me, it would defeat the purpose.”