My wife tells me that if I ever decide to leave, she’s coming with me.

The line is a wry, affectionate twist on the language of separation: “if I ever decide to leave” implies departure or even divorce, but the punchline—“she’s coming with me”—reverses the expectation. It frames marriage as a partnership so cohesive that even the fantasy of escape becomes impossible, because the spouse is not an obstacle but a chosen companion. The humor depends on paradox: leaving is redefined as leaving together. In celebrity context, it also functions as a public affirmation of loyalty and stability, using self-deprecation to signal that commitment is not a burden but a shared life.