This is a wonderful way to celebrate an 80th birthday... I wanted to be 65 again, but they wouldn’t let me - Homeland Security.

Buchwald’s quip fuses birthday humor with post‑9/11 security culture. The joke hinges on the absurdity of bureaucratic power: even something as personal and inevitable as aging is treated as if it required government permission. By claiming he “wanted to be 65 again” but was refused by “Homeland Security,” he satirizes the reach and officiousness associated with heightened security measures, while also poking fun at the universal wish to turn back the clock. The line exemplifies his trademark style—self-deprecating, topical, and aimed at deflating public anxieties through wit.