Almost no one is foolish enough to imagine that he automatically deserves great success in any field of activity; yet almost everyone believes that he automatically deserves success in marriage.

Sydney J. Harris (1917–1986) was a widely syndicated American newspaper columnist known for concise, aphoristic observations about everyday ethics and relationships. This remark fits his recurring theme that modern people apply discipline and realism to careers and public achievement while treating intimate life as something that should “work” by default. In mid‑20th‑century American advice culture—when marriage was idealized as a social norm—Harris often pushed back against complacent assumptions, urging readers to see marriage as a craft requiring effort, humility, and learning rather than a reward one is owed simply for participating.

The quote contrasts two attitudes toward success: in work or public life, most people accept that excellence must be earned through skill, persistence, and self-correction; in marriage, many expect happiness and harmony as an entitlement. Harris suggests this is a category error—marriage is not a self-running institution but a demanding human relationship that requires competence, practice, and accountability. The sting of the line is moral as well as practical: entitlement in intimacy breeds resentment and blame, whereas a “learned” approach—like one takes toward a profession—encourages growth, empathy, and shared responsibility for the relationship’s outcomes.