Bargain... anything a customer thinks a store is losing money on.

Hubbard’s quip satirizes consumer psychology and the rhetoric of retail. A “bargain,” he suggests, is less an objective measure of value than a customer’s belief that the seller is taking a loss. The humor turns on the mismatch between perception and reality: shoppers often equate “discounted” with “underpriced,” imagining they’ve outsmarted the store, even though pricing is typically designed to protect margins. The line also hints at the performative nature of commerce—sales, markdowns, and “loss leaders” cultivate the impression of sacrifice to trigger urgency and satisfaction. In short, Hubbard defines a bargain as a story the buyer tells themselves about the seller’s pain.