I once bought my kids a set of batteries for Christmas with a note on it saying, toys not included.

A self-deprecating, working-class gag built on the familiar frustration that many children’s toys require batteries that aren’t supplied. The speaker exaggerates thrift to the point of absurdity: instead of buying a toy and forgetting batteries, he buys only batteries and labels them as if they were the whole present. The humor comes from inversion (accessory as gift), from the implied stinginess, and from the deadpan echo of consumer packaging language (“batteries/toys not included”). It also plays on parental guilt and the performative nature of gift-giving—how a present can be reduced to a technical requirement rather than delight.