Boys and girls in America have such a sad time together; sophistication demands that they submit to sex immediately without proper preliminary talk. Not courting talk — real straight talk about souls, for life is holy and every moment is precious.

The last time I was inside a woman was when I went to the Statue of Liberty.

After coitus every animal is sad.

The main reason Santa is so jolly is because he knows where all the bad girls live.

Women fall in love on the date, and men fall in love after the date.