But there is a discomfort that surrounds grief. It makes even the most well-intentioned people unsure of what to say. And so many of the freshly bereaved end up feeling even more alone.

O’Rourke points to a social paradox of mourning: grief is universal, yet it often produces avoidance. Because many people fear saying the wrong thing, they retreat into silence or platitudes, which can unintentionally intensify the bereaved person’s isolation. The quote highlights how grief is not only an internal emotional experience but also a relational and cultural one—shaped by communal scripts, discomfort with mortality, and norms about “moving on.” Its significance lies in reframing loneliness after loss as partly socially produced, suggesting that better companionship in grief may require tolerating awkwardness and staying present rather than offering perfect words.