[Domestic violence is] a carefully laid physical, financial and psychological trap.

Leslie Morgan Steiner, a writer and advocate who has spoken publicly about surviving intimate-partner abuse, used this phrasing in her widely viewed TED talk about why victims often remain in abusive relationships. In that talk she describes how abuse typically escalates over time and is paired with tactics that isolate the victim, undermine confidence, and restrict access to money and support. The line frames domestic violence not as a single incident but as a patterned strategy of coercive control—one that can make leaving dangerous and logistically difficult even for capable, educated people.

The quote emphasizes that domestic violence functions as a system rather than an outburst: the abuser constructs a “trap” with multiple reinforcing bars. Physical intimidation creates fear; financial control limits options; psychological manipulation (gaslighting, humiliation, isolation) erodes self-trust and makes the victim doubt their perceptions. Calling it “carefully laid” highlights intentionality and planning, countering stereotypes that abuse is merely loss of temper. The significance is ethical and practical: understanding abuse as coercive control shifts attention from “Why didn’t they leave?” to “How was leaving made unsafe or impossible?” and points toward interventions that restore safety, resources, and social support.