You don’t appreciate a lot of stuff in school until you get older. Little things like being spanked every day by a middle-aged woman: Stuff you pay good money for in later life.

In this joke, Philips uses a mock-nostalgic setup—“you don’t appreciate…until you get older”—to pivot into taboo sexual innuendo. The humor comes from incongruity: school discipline (spanking by a teacher) is reframed as an adult fetish experience people might “pay good money for.” The line satirizes both sentimental adult retrospection about childhood and the way adult desires can retroactively distort memories. It also showcases Philips’s persona: deadpan, mischievously literal, and reliant on abrupt tonal reversal to expose the absurdity of social norms around punishment, authority, and sexuality.